fluxnet | Voice; un: magician

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Voice; un: magician

[So, all of the craziness of things here aside, Adam had recently gone through some more craziness of his own. Namely going to bed one night and waking up at the information booth with new memories. Memories that made him feel bitter.

There was a reason he was on voice and not video. He could have gone for text, but...he just didn't want to.]

What do you do...if you feel like you've done the right thing, but you don't think anyone else would agree with you?

[What did you do if the 'right thing' hurt the person you cared about most? Was it still the right thing?]

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[Gansey's covered in paint and trying to avoid having a goat becoming covered in paint so, for now, he's opting for voice as well. Adam may hear some thumping and a 'no no, bad goat!' before Gansey's voice steadies.]

I think I spent most of our junior and senior years like that.

[He knows Adam would disapprove of the bribes and the whiff of blackmail that accompanied Gansey's dealings with the school administration.]

What happened?

[If he was in a better mood, Adam would have had a little chuckle over the goat bit. As it was, he hesitated for a moment.]

I'm not- You might- [Hate me.] Maybe we should talk about it in person. It's about Ronan.

[The goat related noises stop as Gansey gets Drill Bit away from his supplies in her area of the converted barn.

He waits for Adam's answer, trying to decipher the pauses that don't seem right.]

I'm assuming that you don't want to talk where Ronan might here.

[Which implies that Gansey isn't going to like this particular subject.]

Do you want to talk here?

Assuming he doesn't already know, I'd like to keep it that way, yeah.

[He knew keeping secrets was awful, especially after he'd previously said that Ronan deserved to know things. But there was no harm in prolonging what would only be pain when Ronan found out.]

Where are you?

[Since Adam can't see him, he doesn't hide his reaction, staring at the device like it should hold the answers to one of the universe's great mysteries as he considers what his best friend had said.

After all their discussions about secrets and not keeping things from Ronan, this seems uncharacteristic. Or something terrible had happened. He keeps his voice calm, making sure no trace of magic sneaks into his tone.]

I'm in my studio.

[He looks around the converted outbuilding Ronan had given him so he'd have a quiet place to work on his projects, trying to remember if he'd paid attention to details like food and coffee. One he had, the other he'd neglected. Adam probably won't want to eat, but it's still polite to offer.]

I'll start coffee, but I don't have else except those horrible granola bars that Declan loves to eat.

Edited 2021-06-28 13:11 (UTC)

[He knew it made him a hypocrite, but he wasn't willing to lose Ronan over this, even if he would probably find out anyway, no matter what. He was already risking losing Gansey by even entertaining the idea of telling him.]

Okay. I'm not hungry anyway. Unless you are. Should I bring something from the house?

[He didn't think Gansey would be very hungry after they got to the topic at hand, but he'd feel bad if he didn't at least make an offer.]

No. I'm all right.

[He probably should eat one of those questionable granola bars since he can't remember when he ate. He looks around the studio, realizes there's paintings that he'd rather Adam didn't see and starts putting them in one of the storage areas that he's set up.]

Whenever you want to come over...

[He leaves the invitation open, not wanting Adam to feel compelled or magicked into visiting... even if his magic shouldn't be working at the moment.]

Okay. I'll be over in a few minutes.

[Enough time for him to cage Cottonball to keep her from getting into things she shouldn't in the house and make sure he wasn't rushing Gansey. He might have taken a little extra time to try and calm his nerves, too. This wasn't an easy subject and he doubted it was going to go over well.

After a short while, he arrived at the studio, polite enough to knock first rather than just barging in. He'd already been working on rehearsing the best ways to word things, but he wasn't sure if that would help or not.]

If you feel like you did the right thing, you stand by it. Good or bad. [ Jayne is ~~usually~~ rather unapologetic about these sort of things.

Also, he has no idea what's going on. ]

Why? What did you do?

[Good thing he was still on audio. It gave him a moment to muse over that username and wonder what the story was behind it. But he didn't comment on it; he kept to the matter at hand.]

I did something that hurt someone I care about. I didn't want to hurt them, but...

[But sometimes certain things were unavoidable.]

I was looking at the big picture.

[ Oh, but it's a fun story! Sort of. But yes, better to focus on the matter at hand. ]

What was the big picture?

[He hesitated for a moment.]

Keeping the world safe for everyone.

[But was it really safe for everyone the way he was going? He had to keep telling himself that it was because otherwise, he was wrong.]

Well, that definitely sounds....big.

[ Jayne feels kind of like he is missing something but ah well. ]

Then you stand by what you did. Maybe they won't understand right away but they should.

It is.

[It was too big for one person to handle, especially someone who was only 19, but Adam did what he could when he could.]

There was a chance that monsters could kill people. The things from myths. I just...I didn't want to see anyone hurt. [Except Bryde.]

I wish he'd understand. He might think I'm against him, but I'm not.

Your choice makes the monsters stop from killing people?

[ He can't help but sound and look a bit skeptical at that but that's just how he is. ]

I'm guessing you can't make him see that you're not? Have you tried talking to him about it?

Yes. Because it stops them from waking up in the first place. In this case, what's asleep can't hurt anyone.

[He'd almost made a blanket statement about things being asleep also being no threat, but he knew better than that.]

I haven't, yet. I'm not sure he'd even know what I'm talking about. Time works weird here.

The monsters are sleeping? As in forever sleeping?

[ He can think of a few 'monsters' he wishes were asleep or would stay asleep. ]

I think everything works weird here.

Yeah. There's only one thing that can wake them up and I didn't want that to happen.

[Which had the unintended side effect of making him come off as selfish and uncaring, he was sure--at least to Ronan.]

I've gotten that impression. I liked this place better when it had a beach.

If you're keeping people from dying, then it seems pretty simple. You did the right thing.

Aw man, there was a beach?

[Adam hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to be told he was wrong, but hearing that he'd done the right thing felt...weird.]

Thanks.

And yeah, when I first got here this whole place was a beach town. It was pretty nice. But that was like...almost a year ago.

Accept it's just another day and move on. Sometimes you have to do things because they need to be done, not because it's the popular choice.

That's...pragmatic. Sometimes things aren't that easy. What if they're complicated? Things aren't clear-cut black and white, good and bad in this situation.

[But he'd done what he thought was right anyway, even if it wasn't necessary the good choice.]

Most things are complicated. Doing what's right when not everyone agrees with you is difficult, but necessary. It sounds like you've made that choice.

Is it worth it though if you hurt someone you love in the process?

[That was the part he was really hung up on.]

That depends on your greater good, the reason you had to do it. I'd say if you're truly doing the right thing, you're not really hurting anyone.

I don't think he would agree that no one was hurt. There was no way around it though, or else I would've... I don't want him to think I'm against him.

[But he was pretty sure Ronan would think Adam was against him.]

I just wanted to try and keep the world safe.

Then tell him that. Give him your reasons. Saving the world is a good one.

He was the one-

[He took a deep breath. If he admitted that Ronan had been involved in potentially endangering the world, it might have been true but it painted him in a bad light. He didn't want anyone to think poorly of Ronan. Especially not because of Adam.]

He thought he was saving the world, too.

[Which meant, in Adam's mind, that only one of them was right.]

He might listen though, if I tried to explain.

Unfortunately, that happens. Often they think they're doing what's right. But yes, do try to explain. I think it would eat at you inside if you didn't.

[Adam almost asked what meant he was the one in the right then, but he didn't. Maybe it wasn't easy as that. He knew it was more gray instead of black and white, and he didn't want to hurt anybody, dreamer or not, but... There was always a but.]

I'll do my best. I just don't want to ruin our friendship.

[And what had once been more than a friendship.]

I'll spare you the platitudes.

[The words are mild, but he certainly doesn't sound pleased, if you know him well enough to catch the tension in his voice, predict the way that his lip curls. He can only think of two people that Adam would feel bad about screwing over if he thought it was right. Namely, Gansey and Ronan. And Declan isn't particularly fond of either option.]

I'd heavily reconsider if it was actually the right thing. What did you do?

Like you're one to talk; you were right there with me.

[But...was Adam the only one who knew that? He was used to messed up time shenanigans, was it going to happen all over again? He wouldn't necessarily be surprised.]

...Unless you don't remember that. [He was hesitant to tell Declan, of all people, what had happened if he didn't already know.] Or you haven't lived it yet, rather.

The last thing I remember is still the Fairy Market. I haven't been back home.

[So, no. He doesn't know what Adam's talking about at all. He hasn't even had his home wrecked by Moderators trying to murder his brothers yet, hasn't started quietly spinning a crime empire into a quiet life in downtown Boston. So his tone shifts slightly, wary.]

You're going to have to explain what happened.

[His words are careful, curated, less openly agitated.]

[So Declan had no idea. That made things harder. There was every chance he'd take the same 'fuck fate' route Ronan had when Adam had told him about the future, reacting differently than he expected.]

I'm not sure we should talk about it over the network. It's...complicated. [Not to mention messy.]

Maybe we should meet up somewhere, instead.

All right. Where?

[There's still that careful weight to the words. He doesn't offer his place, mostly because if this is half as contentious as he suspects and Adam implies, he doubts it would be comfortable for either of them. Gansey is the only person he's really invited into his space here.

He has a feeling that he's not going to enjoy this conversation.]

Maybe Starkbucks?

[It felt like neutral ground, and he certainly didn't want to talk about things in the Barns. Not only might Ronan overhear, but...there were a slew of other reasons. Someplace that wasn't intimately familiar for both of them would probably be best. It wasn't exactly private, but Adam had had more dangerous conversations in less private places.]

[ Between not knowing who this was or what they had done, Ty opted for a text back. The subject was too close to home for him to remain silent. ]

If you know you did the right thing, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. The right thing doesn't change being right based on popular opinion.

What if you're not sure it was the right thing? And what if it hurt someone you love in the process?

Then it doesn't sound like the right thing :(
Either you're sure or you're not
Sometimes the right thing can hurt people you love but you've got to know down deep it's right

I was more sure of my decision before I talked to my boyfriend about it. I'm not sure he understands that sometimes difficult decisions have to be made.

I understand that.
If you dont mind me asking, was it something he just didn't approve of or something that physically wounded him?

Something he didn't approve of. I'd never do anything to physically hurt him.

I've been in that position before and it sucks.
For me, it was my parents. I know I hurt them but I also know that I did the right thing. In the end, they realized it too.
Maybe it'll be the same for you. Don't give up.

I'm sorry you had to go through something like that.

I hope someday he'll understand.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm sorry you're going through it now. If you still wanna talk, I'm happy to listen. I'm Tyrone or Ty.

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