(no subject)

[mayp]

Hello, for those who do not know me my name is May Parker. I am curious, how many children and teenagers do we have here?

Comments

[hashtagparkerluck]

Sorry Mr Stark, you can't return damaged goods.

[ Get it? 'cause he's emotionally scarred and damaged??? He's so funny. ]

[runs_on_batteries]

Okay now you must say three nice things about yourself or no ice cream.

One...

[hashtagparkerluck]

But it was just a joke....?

[runs_on_batteries]

Two..

[hashtagparkerluck]

What? You can't count at me for that!

[runs_on_batteries]

Two and a half..

[He raised an eyebrow as a warning.]

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Oh, shit. Apparently he can. ]

[ He sucks in a breath and puffs up his cheeks before letting the breath go and then quickly rattling off the first three things he can think of. Can he think of three? Guess he's gonna find out. ]

Uh I'm good at chemistry. I'm nice and uh.. I have the best girlfriend?

[runs_on_batteries]

Close enough.

[He almost smiled.]

You're getting away with that last one because I'm nice.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ The urge to mouth off is so, so strong right now but he only just managed to get out of trouble. But it's just so easy... ]

Did I tell you I got a job?

[ Yup. Just abruptly change the subject, that's probably the best away to go. ]

[runs_on_batteries]

No, where? Did you tell them they need to get more insurance?

[hashtagparkerluck]

Wow, rude.

No, I'm gonna be fixing computers. I'm good at that. I think. I mean, I did build my laptop from like... discarded laptops.

[runs_on_batteries]

That's cool. Are you still going to use duct tape for everything?

[hashtagparkerluck]

Wow, are you just gonna riff on everything I say? I'm really proud of that laptop, thanks.

Also, since you mentioned insurance and all... so I'm sure you noticed they have cars here... and, well, I have a learner's permit-or I did back uh home...

[runs_on_batteries]

Alright, alright. Yes, you did good with what you had. Better than like 99.something% of the population could've done.

[He raises his eyebrow again.]

Shouldn't that fall under May's jurisdiction?

[hashtagparkerluck]

She won't care. Besides, you don't know what I was gonna ask.

[runs_on_batteries]

[Okay, let's humor the kid.]

Oh? And what oh-so-subtle-one are you going to ask?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Why does he get the feeling Tony is saying he's not subtle at all, he's perfectly subtle! ]

I was just wondering if maybe you might consider.. you know.. helping teach me how to drive?

[runs_on_batteries]

....

Are you sure you want me to be the one to teach you?

[hashtagparkerluck]

Yes? I mean, you're supposed to be like a really good driver, right? Who better to teach me?

[runs_on_batteries]

[Don't compliment him! This was already hard to resist as it is!]

Just a second ago you were saying I was too critical.

[hashtagparkerluck]

That has nothing to do with this. Please???

[hibana_incursa]

Peter Benjamin Parker.

[ Oh, shit. ]

[hashtagparkerluck]

What? C'mon it was just a joke.

[hibana_incursa]

Yeah, not a fan of that joke.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ He just takes a breath and lets it out because he knows better than to try and convince her it's actually funny. ]

...Sorry.